#bannedsessions from #ims10

You can find great summaries from the Inbound Marketing Summit 2010 here, here and here.  Since that ground had been covered, I went back and compiled the comedic gems from the conference.  Rob Brosnaro walked away with the Nobel prize in marketing comedy.  He kept us engaged when things got dry.  So with that I bring you the top 10 banned sessions from the summit.  These are the things they didn’t want you to see, but you can’t stop a force as powerful as comedy…or mind-numbing powerpoint slides.

10. @cnahil: “More cowbell, more conversion: Marketing Secrets of Blue Oyster Cult” #bannedsessions

9. @brosnaro: “Leveraging social sociopaths” #bannedsessions #ims10

8. @notronwest: “hands on angry bird workshop” #bannedsessions #ims10

7. @nichole_kelly: Getting your customers to understand how “big” you are. #bannedsessions #ims10

6. @amanda_pants: How to tell people over and over how important you are without providing any value – #bannedsessions #IMS10

5. @notronwest: “I’m on salary bitches: community managers behind the scenes” #bannedsessions #ims10

4. @mojo2go: ‘How to Leverage | Engage | stay out of the BOX | after grabbing the Lo Hang’n Fruit’ #bannedsessions #ims10

3. @brosnaro: “Sleeping with Zuckerberg isn’t a social media strategy” #bannedsessions #ims10

2. @martinlieberman: “Content: It’s really, really, really, really, really important” #bannedsessions #IMS10

…and the top #bannedsession from #ims10…

1. @brosnaro: “Analytics as a Service (Aaas)” #bannedsessions #ims10

—

and here are the entire list of orignal #bannedsessions #ims10 tweets:

@notronwest: “I’m on salary bitches: community managers behind the scenes” #bannedsessions #ims10

@decil: IMS10 #bannedsessions “Tomorrow, on Day 4 of IMS…”

@cnahil: “Crisis Communcations The Love Guru Way” #ims10 #bannedsessions

@decil: #IMS10 #bannedsessions in the spirit of IronChef “IronSeo-build a site focusing on THESE 10 keywords in 1 hour” Audience to judge

@decil: IMS10 #bannedsessions “The New Black ______”

@martinlieberman: “The New Black: Listening, Customer Service, Content, SEO, Foursquare, or Something Else?” #bannedsessions #IMS10

@notronwest: “#ims10 vs. New England Revolution” #bannedsessions

@iamdavebowers: #ims10 #bannedsessions “How to save money on heating”.

@focalmanda: “Can you break your Twitter from playing with it too much?” #bannedsessions #ims10

@brosnaro: “Better lead gen with #epicfail” #ims10 #bannedsessions

@martinlieberman: “How many marketing cliches can I fit into 20 minutes?” #bannedsessions #IMS10

@bcellucci: #bannedsessions #ims10 How the postal service went social

@iamdavebowers: #ims10 #bannedsessions how to retweet a presenter to make yourself look smarter.

@decil: IMS10 #bannedsessions “PR is dead” <honk>

@brosnaro: SMS is the new CMS #ims10 #bannedsessions

@brosnaro: “Rickrolling Your Way to Social Media ROI” #ims10 #bannedsessions

@bostonmarketer: “Stop marketing, shut the hell up” ~ @unmarketing #bannedsessions #IMS10

@brosnaro: Bieberize Your SM Strategy #bannedsessions #ims10

@brosnaro: Touch Your Customer with Your Tweet #bannedsessions #ims10

@decil: #IMS10 #bannedsessions “Be successful at Social Media without an online presence”

@heyruh: marketing: truth or truthiness? #bannedsessions #ims10

@decil: #IMS10 #bannedsessions If you could do it better/easier than me, you wouldn’t be paying me the big bucks. Don’t bitch about it.

@Charlieriley: Integrating social media into your telegrams #bannedsessions #IMS10

@decil: #bannedsessions just received spam as result of last post: “Are you looking a strategies to lose weight? get Burn The Fat” … LOL!

@brosnaro: “Leveraging social sociopaths” #bannedsessions #ims10

@AdamHoldenBache: Mel Gibson’s Guide to Generating Interest in your Personal Brand #bannedsessions #IMS10

@zandys: “Some Identity Theft is Normal, and Will Only Happen to Older Employees, Anyway” #bannedsessions

@nichole_kelly: Getting your customers to understand how “big” you are. #bannedsessions #ims10

@decil: #IMS10 #bannedsessions CMS Fitness classes: Joomla Zumba, Drupal Yoga, and WordPress BenchPress

@brosnaro: “Why your janitor needs a Twitter account” #bannedsessions #ims10

@notronwest: “this is my company we rock” #bannedsessions #ims10

@iamreff: “Anti-Social Media Strategies: How To Lose Fans/Followers” #bannedsessions #ims10

@minetmarketing: How to be the Innovative Thought Leader Outside of the Box with Scalable Platforms #bannedsessions

@annkingman: Converting plain English into Marketing Speak for fun and profit #bannedsessions #ims10

@notronwest: “if you really like how my content makes you ___, you’ll really love how my ____ _____’s” #bannedsessions #ims10

@brosnaro: “Getting more & in your SM strategy” #bannedsessions #ims10

@abstractedge: The Art of Phone Banking #bannedsessions #ims10

@tallbonez: What Cryogenics & Content have in Common #IMS10 #bannedsessions

@cnahil: “More cowbell, more conversion: Marketing Secrets of Blue Oyster Cult” #bannedsessions #ims10

@amanda_pants: How to tell people over and over how important you are without providing any value – #bannedsessions #IMS10

@peplau: Barely Polite: Top Obligapplause Tips from Veteran Conference-Goers #bannedsessions #IMS10

@B_Donelly: “You’re better asking for forgiveness than permission.” #bannedsessions #ims10

@martinlieberman: “I’m Not Chris Brogan, But I Follow Him on Twitter: Does that make me a social media expert?” #bannedsessions #IMS10

@nichole_kelly: The key to 1 million followers…provactive avatars #bannedsessions #ims10

@jennymack: “Leveraging the Sea Change in Shareable Content: Engaging, Game-Changing ROI Strategy.” #bannedsessions #ims2010

@tamadear: Dress for Social Media Success: Beyond the Mock Turtleneck #bannedsessions #ims10

@mojo2go: ‘How to Leverage | Engage | stay out of the BOX | after grabbing the Lo Hang’n Fruit’ #bannedsessions #ims10

@brosnaro: “Fuck Foursquare! Fivesquare FTW!” #bannedsessions #ims10

@mojo2go: ‘;How to set up a profile on THE TWITTER’ #bannedsessions #ims10

@iamdavebowers: #bannedsessions #ims10 powerpoint readability101

@bostonmarketer: “How to get 2000 unengaged followers in 1 hour a day” #bannedsessions #ims10

@abstractedge: Top Techniques to Bump #bannedsessions #ims10

@tallbonez: Automated Messages For Fun & Profit #bannedsessions

@mitchelka: Buzzword-Free Marketing: “___ing Your __s Is The New ___” #bannedsessions #ims10

@KLBrousseau: #ims10 #bannedsessions “Things that don’t matter: content, twitter and the list.”

@brosnaro: “Because 4 pie charts per slide is only the beginning” #bannedsessions #ims10

@notronwest: “how to save your content from alcohol dependency” #bannedsessions #ims10

@jennymack: “MySpace: A Retrospective” #bannedsessions #IMS10

@tamadear: PowerPoint as Torture Device #bannedsessions #ims10

@peplau: “Infinitely Detailed & Unreadable Venn Diagram Slides: Your Presentation’s Ace In The Hole” #bannedsessions #IMS10

@nichole_kelly: Email Addresses are Social Currency. How to Steal More Addresses. #bannedsessions #ims10

@iamreff: “Why You Need A Website” #IMS99 …#ims10 #bannedsessions

@martinlieberman: “Content: It’s really, really, really, really, really important” #bannedsessions #IMS10

@tmycann: #ims10 #bannedsessions “You’re not the subject matter expert we wanted”

@mendelj2: “Watching the water skiing squirrel was social media research” #bannedsessions #IMS10

@brosnaro: “Sleeping with Zuckerberg isn’t a social media strategy” #bannedsessions #ims10

@cnahil: “Selectrics and ‘shrooms: More Marketing Secrets of the Grateful Dead.” #bannedsessions #ims10

@notronwest: “hands on angry bird workshop” #bannedsessions #ims10

@brosnaro: “Analytics as a Service (Aaas)” #bannedsessions #ims10

@brosnaro: “Build your social network with more faxes” #bannedsessions #ims10

@brosnaro: “The secrets to more customer touching” #bannedsessions #ims10

@brosnaro: “Venereal marketing: the next step in social marketing” #bannedsessions at #ims10

@notronwest: “Christian Bale ate my content” #bannedsessions #ims10

@tallbonez: Dump your Content! Marketing Lessons from BP to Achieve Global Buzz #bannedsessions

@chris_snell: Content Curation – Plagery’s Not THAT Bad #bannedsessions #ims10

@iamreff: “Target Markets: They’re Kinda All The Same” #bannedsessions #ims10

@nichole_kelly: The key to measuring social media…Your Gut! #ims10 #bannedsessions

@notronwest: “face it your content sucks” #bannedsessions #ims10

@bostonmarketer: “What to do with yourself when Twitter is down” #bannedsessions #IMS10

@nichole_kelly: The cornerstone of your social media strategy…The Press Release #ims10 #bannedsessions